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    August 22

    心中的林妹妹想出来走走

       上学那会儿,一直觉得自己的泪腺是不是有问题, 因为很多的同学都可以很轻易的掉珠子,安慰的同时似乎更多的是在欣赏别样的美,就像带雨的梨花。记得有一次看电影,忘记影片名了,只记得是一部悲情电影,坐在旁边的一位男生竟然也感动得在偷偷流泪,我也很感动呀,很想跟着一起哭,似乎哭了才能融入这场景中。但是怎么也挤不出眼泪,心中暗地问自己:“我为啥就哭不出来呢?”。出了影院后,女同学们在谈论有多感人,每一个人都说自己感动得哭了,甚至有人是一直在哭。而自己在一旁,竟不好意思说自己没掉眼泪,甚至为自己不能哭感到遗憾。
        后来对自己了解多了,发现自己就是那种粗神经条,对人类那种细腻的情感体会不到,接纳了自己的哭不出来。心,对此也就释然了。
        但是前一段时间那场发烧,让自己不小心体验了下林妹妹的心境。上上周日的下午,发了两天的高烧慢慢退了一些,想打开电视看些娱乐节目,让被感冒折磨的心情能变得愉快些。但最终吸引自己的还是旅游卫视的动物世界(或许节目名不叫动物世界),亚马逊河的某处洼地因为缺水,鱼儿死得满地都是,秃鹫来吃......看着看着,不知为啥,泪如泉涌,热泪在脸庞不停的流着,思绪已从为环境恶化的悲伤到深深的忏悔中,忏悔自己平时浪费水,忏悔自己不懂珍惜身边的一切,到最后也不知道是悲伤的泪还是忏悔的泪,反正泪就这么静静流着,渐渐地,感觉这些泪水是在冲刷内心的灰尘,心也在慢慢变得明净点,眼睛似乎感觉也清澈些,当然只是感觉,可惜没照镜子去验证下。
        事后对自己看电视流这么大批量的泪水感到有点迷惑,于是,寻求答案,然后给了自己一个合理的解释:其实每个人心中都有个林妹妹(当时的心境感觉和黛玉葬花的心情是一样的),只是我们的社会化的过程中,父母、老师、好友都告诉我们应该:“不哭,不哭,做个坚强的人。”,于是“林妹妹”被封杀到内心的最最最深的角落,其实有时候让林妹妹出来走走也挺好,哭后,重获一种内心的宁静。

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    Jennifer Shiwrote:
    哭出来挺好的,我也常常容易动容,但和妹妹比我的哭很小女儿态,妹妹为大环境的恶化和自己用水奢侈哭,倒真让我很敬佩,我还没有过这样的经历.
    Aug. 23

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